i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize