So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
