I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Of course I have a pirate flag
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize