I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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