There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
