kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She bit a glass in half.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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