did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Ladies don't puke and tell
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
