I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My dick has a subreddit
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
