put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
