I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
