She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
