the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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