WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Im part way to drunk.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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