I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
