It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
