If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
