I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
