there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
