haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
