just tell him i said nine months
you win again, gameday.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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