I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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