How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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