my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
