If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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