Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
