babies were throwing up all over the place
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
