Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
