i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
