a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize