Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
