you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
