I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
vagina is talking i cant
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
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