she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize