i don't plan on having that self control this summer
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
