I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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