Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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