Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
