Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
