This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
