How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
