I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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