They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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