At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
