Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
