the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
