quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
