Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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