Welp...herpes.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
