at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
