He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
