the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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