Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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