Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
