Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is the high leading the old right now
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
