So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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