Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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