and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
