jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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