Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
