Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
