It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
