So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
