Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
