So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
